|
|
|
|
Sponsored
Results: Jewish Jokes and Jewish Humor |
|
|
The first Jewish president of the united states of
America
The year is 2016 and the United States has just
elected the first woman as well as the first Jewish
president, Susan Goldfarb. She calls up her mother a
few weeks after election day and says, 'So, Mom, I
assume you will be coming to my inauguration?'
'I don't think so. It's a ten hour drive, your
father isn't as young as he used to be, and my
arthritis is acting up again.'
'Don't worry about it Mom, I'll send Air Force One
to pick you up and take you home. And a limousine
will pick you up at your door.'
'I don't know. Everybody will be so fancy-schmantzy,
what on earth would I wear?'
Oh Mom, replies Susan, 'I'll make sure you have a
wonderful gown custom-made by the best designer in
New York .'
'Honey,' Mom complains, 'you know I can't eat those
rich foods you and your friends like to eat.'
The President-to-be responds, 'Don't worry Mom. The
entire affair is going to be handled by the best
caterer in New York , kosher all the way. Mom, I
really want you to come.'
So Mom reluctantly agrees and on January 20, 2017,
Susan Goldfarb is being sworn in as President of the
United States. In the front row sits the new
president's mother, who leans over to a senator
sitting next to her.
'You see that woman over there with her hand on the
Torah, becoming President of the United States
The Senator whispers back, 'Yes I do.'
Mom says proudly, 'Her brother is a doctor.'
|
|
|
G-d: And remember Moses, in the
laws of keeping Kosher, never cook a calf in its
mother's milk. It is cruel.
Moses: Ohhhhhh! So you are saying we should never
eat milk and meat together.
G-d: No, what I'm saying is, never cook a calf in
its mother's milk.
Moses: Oh, Lord forgive my ignorance! What you are
really saying is we should wait six hours after
eating meat to eat milk so the two are not in our
stomachs.
G-d: No, Moses, what I'm saying is, never cook a
calf in it's mother's milk!!!
Moses: Oh, Lord! Please don't strike me down for my
stupidity! What you mean is we should have a
separate set of dishes for milk and a separate set
for meat and if we make a mistake we have to bury
that dish outside...
G-d: Moses, do whatever you want....
|
|
|
<--
Back |
|
|
